Reader Question:

My girlfriend is asexual. We don’t have sex and we cannot hug, which can be totally fine. She has crushes on many people continuously. By crushes, she indicates the lady preferred individuals, which once more is okay since they’ren’t intimate. I happened to be the next individual she found exactly who defied that definition. Initial individual may be the problem here. Since myself and her experienced this relationship, he’s evidently stopped talking to the girl. She informed me she adored him, but she continued to say this was actually more familial.

I’m not sure whether i really believe the lady about that. I must say I love this lady, but I can’t share her love with somebody else.

Was We being foolish?

-Emyrs (Wales)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s response:

Let me fully grasp this straight. The girlfriend is actually a self-identified asexual you aren’t? Yet you’re okay because of this. With the exception that perhaps there is a man in her last exactly who she wasn’t very so asexual with. And then he’s the problem. Because you’re envious of him.

There is the one thing missing in all this left-of-center union – your requirements.

My personal answer is very easy: Figure out what need in a commitment. Ask yourself how much this woman will probably be worth decreasing for.

And, for goodness benefit, disregard the ghost of her last, unless she actually is holding his storage prior to you to purposely cause you to envious. Then you’ve got to inquire of yourself precisely why she must worsen you.

Could she be vulnerable and likes to rally the environmentally friendly beast in you for her very own self-esteem? Lots to think about.

But the 1st step: Get in touch with your personal thoughts and allow her to have hers.

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